Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
