He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
