Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
did i walk over a car last night?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
