I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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