We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Your cock deserves a montage
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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