it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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