i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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