There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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