why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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