Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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