we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your penis caused this!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
