I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
