I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize