I'm so fucking centered right now
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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