i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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