when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize