is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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