woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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