I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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