omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
