I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
