I am in a vortex of obligation.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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