you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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