At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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