he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
