And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize