college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
