First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
