you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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