all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
