dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
