How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
