so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
