They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
