is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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