I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
