i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
