I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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