What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
