What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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