See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize