so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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