you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
