whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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