whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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