Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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