My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize