Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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