I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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