You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
