if i can run in heels then i can drive
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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