she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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