Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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