Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
