If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We had sex on a dog bed..
BRING THE BAGELS
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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