She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
