Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
