I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
