Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
