WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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