You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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