There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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